Top 7 Ways To Conceal Hard Alcohol

March 28th — a balmy 35 degrees, move-in day and, of course, the moment we crossed the threshold into a hard-alcohol free world.

Now, I have the utmost faith in all of you, and no doubt you will be following the letter of the Dean Ameer law when it comes to anything fermented. But hypothetically, if you have no fear of probation, suspension, or even expulsion, here are a couple of innovative ways you could get shady about your alcohol consumption. You know, hypothetically.
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FoCo Joe at Home: In N Out Neapolitan Shake

Courtesy of Joseph Kind, The Dartmouth Staff

Spring is upon us, but unfortunately I am not. I’m off this term — a by-product of my swim season schedule — and living it up at home in San Francisco, California. I have an internship I am excited to start in a couple days, a family and a fair amount of free time. Some of this free time, I am pleased to announce, will be dedicated to furthering this wonderful column. Thus I begin the next chapter of FoCo Joe — a spin-off “special edition” column, if you will—FoCo Joe at Home.

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FoCo Joe: F.I.N.A.L.S Treat

Courtesy of Joseph Kind, The Dartmouth Staff

Sadly, the time has come for me to post my last column of the term. It’s been a good one, friends, and I hope you have enjoyed the journey as much as I have. That said, I have some more bad news to share. My fast approaching absence from campus this spring term can only mean one thing— it will be a while before I am able to make another FoCo creation. I know this will likely leave you, my dear readers, floundering in a sea of emotions. So allow me to try and explain. My time on the swim team has shaped my D-Plan, and as a result, the spring terms are my only opportunities to get away from Hanover. Last spring, however, I was fortunate enough to study abroad in Buenos Aires, Argentina. So that means this spring is my only shot at a real off-term. I honestly wish I had more seriously considered taking a Hanover FSP, not only so that I could have continued to celebrate the heavenly oasis that is FoCo but also so that I could have continued to share my stories and spend quality time with you all each week. Sadly, it was not to be. For once, I will truly be sorry to be off campus.

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Sonic Space: Mitski

via bandcamp.com

Finals are grim. In these dark times, I usually turn to sad, slow folk-rock à la Simon and Garfunkel — there is something weirdly soothing about wallowing in morose lyrics while pouring over four weeks of backlogged readings and weeping silently into my KAF cider. So when I heard the words “folk” and “rock” being thrown around in describing the latest album by Mitski Miyawaki, the Brooklyn-based singer-songwriter who goes by the handle Mitski, my ears perked up. Of course, this classification underemphasizes the intensity of the drums and distortions that pop up in almost every track of her new album “Bury Me At Makeout Creek” (2014) — but it’s technically not inaccurate.

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Around the Ivies

Brown University: Last Friday, Brown University held its first “IvyG” conference, intended to promote reflection on ways to improve the college experience of first-generation students, according to the Brown Daily Herald. Nearly 250 students attended the conference, the Daily Herald reported, with an additional 50 university administrators traveling to Providence, Rhode Island. Eric Waldo, the executive director of First Lady Michelle Obama’s Reach Higher Initiative, gave the conference’s keynote address.

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