Semi season is upon us, which means it’s time to break out the flair. Or at the very least, it means searching through your giant flair box, which is full of everything except for what you need and desperately asking every GroupMe you’re in to see if people can help you out. But if you want to save yourself a trip to Party City, here are a few ideas for semi themes that are fun, easy and super doable.
’18: “Getting the money from suing someone would be nice, but there would just be too much paperwork for it to really be worth it.”
’18 overheard on FFB: “Hi, I’m [name], this is [name] and we have the lowest grades in the class. Nice to meet you.”
Overheard mother: “Your father is boring the people next to us. He’s an overwhelming well of unnecessary information.”
’18: “I like my men too weak to leave me, but not so weak that I have to make decisions.”
Crossing the X: Last night you were a hero, today you are a zero. Swugdom is only a state of mind.
Semi: When you dress up as a librarian-barbarian-Olympian on vacation so you can go to four semis in a single night. #circuit
Astro 2/3: Shoot for the moon. If you miss, you’ll land in Wilder 307.
Theft: No one tells you that the most awkward part of stealing a pong table, three traffic cones and a road sign is returning them all in broad daylight.
Youths: When you look around Foco only to find an army of pimple-faced twelve-year-olds wearing mouth guards and goggles.
1.1. David Newlove, the head of Dartmouth Dining Services, came to me in a dream and said unto me, “Let there be few dining options for 16X.” And it was so.
1.2. In the hours of the morning, I awoke, but felt disinclined to leave the midst of my bed as yet.
1.3. It being Sunday, I reclined, feeling neither hunger nor energy.
1.4. In such a state I partook of Netflix and HBOGo and all those wonders of the Earth.
1.5. Feeling finally that I must depart, I sallied forth unto the showers. There I did cleanse myself and felt again the words of David Newlove upon me.
Soft-Serve Vanilla with Rainbow Sprinkles: You are #basic. You really only order this particular type of ice cream so you can photograph it for your Instagram. At Starbucks, you’re probably a pumpkin spice latte kind of person, and you regularly order KAF salads for lunch. There’s nothing wrong with preferring to blend in with the crowd. We all do it sometimes, like when we pretend to be studying while eating lunch alone (rather than flaunting the fact that no one responded to our 15 “anyone for lunch @now??” GroupMe messages).
Dinosaur Crunch: You like to live on the edge. Some people might call you impulsive, foolish or downright reckless, but you like to think you’re just fun. You were the first to jump off the rope swing at Gilman Island despite rumors that it was dangerous. You streaked that Psych 1 final alone—without a mask—walking at a leisurely pace so that students and professors would remember your face. “To hell with the consequences,” you say!
Snickers: You’re witty and clever with an offbeat sense of humor. Everyone knows they can come to you when they’re having a bad day. And when finals come around, you’re the first streaker running through those massive lecture classes. You love to make people laugh, even if it’s at your own expense. Best of all, your hilarious Yik Yaks are always at the top of the “hot” list.
Cliffs: If you didn’t post a picture of you at the copper mines on social media, did you even go?
Short KAF hours: It closes at 4 p.m.? Really?
Farmers’ market: FRASH STRAWBS. YAASSSSS.
Finance internships: All your ’17 friends are working 27 hours a day. Seriously.
Brexit: For once, London-based FSPs may be almost affordable.
Air conditioning: You have AC? Get ready to suddenly become popular.