Around the Ivies

Columbia University: The parents of recently-graduated Columbia University senior Paul Nungesser said in a statement that the University had made their son’s life nightmarish while giving a special exemption to Emma Sulkowicz, also a graduating senior, by allowing her to carry a mattress at graduation. Nungesser is suing the University, alleging that Columbia allowed Sulkowicz to break confidentiality agreements and supported gender-based harassment against him through Sulkowicz’s senior thesis.
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9 Ways to Snag a Study Spot During Finals

As a naïve ’18 in the days of the 14F reading period, I wandered aimlessly through the library, growing anxious as I searched every study spot I knew only to find them occupied. Upperclassmen shot me pitiful looks as I climbed up and back down the ceaseless staircases of the stacks. If you’re not careful, you could find yourself in this mess as well. Continue reading

Molly’s Summer Salad Pizza

If you’re like me, you’ve often found yourself staring at a restaurant menu with an empty stomach and a mind full of uncertainty. I often find myself pondering the possibility of ordering a salad — weighing the merits of feeling good about myself against the pang of leaving the table hungry. The answer to the salad question for me always ends up being a “no,” but when I walked into Molly’s last night, I was delighted to find something of a compromise. I stumbled upon the Summer Salad Pizza, one of the many seasonal specialties recently added to the menu. I have some experience with the crispy, thin-crust pizzas the restaurant serves, and I wanted to see how this particular creation stacked up. Continue reading

Rejected Midterm Papers: Why “Shut Up and Dance” is about a Fractured Relationship


Many believe “Shut Up and Dance” is just Walk the Moon’s frontman Nick Petricca singing about the time he danced with a girl. This belief is likely shared by the song’s lyricist/band frontman Nick Petricca, pictured below. After analyzing the lyrics, however, it is clear that the differing levels of commitment in this relationship will ultimately doom its future and no amount of shutting up and dancing will save it. Have fun dancing to this at formal everyone! Continue reading

FoCo Joe at Home: Off the Grid

To my readers’ amazement, I do not have many friends. Living with my family has given me many joys and privileges as I intern in expensive San Francisco, and I am so thankful for them in more ways than it’s worth describing in the column. But all of my friends from Dartmouth, home or otherwise have been elsewhere for much of this spring term, turning me into a bit of a lone wolf. The all-too-real moments of truth arrived each weekend — sometimes I fell into a state of manly solitude and Netflixing, while other times I left the house to reclaim my city and relish in the fact that I am a 21-year-old in SF. Usually the former. But now weekends are so much more exciting since some of my friends are beginning to return home. Continue reading