Heat. You know it’s hot when the sun is out but the Collis patio is deserted.
“Voices.” With their faces staring at us as we sit on any campus toilet, we’re bound to remember the time and date of the upcoming performance.
Formal date searching. Even more stressful than upcoming finals.
“Wait how is it week 8 already?” Nobody knows, but you’d better hurry up with that bucket list.
Gov 10 surveys. Has anyone actually ever won a KAF gift card from those supposed raffles for participants? No? Makes you wonder…
’18 #1 in Astro: “You look like you’re about to boot.”
’18 #2: “Yeah but I took a Sudafed.”
DDS worker #1: “Why don’t you change your name to Samuel, I’ll change mine to Jackson, and then we’ll be Samuel Jackson!”
DDS worker #2: “You should change yours to Jack-Off, then at least it’ll be accurate.”
’18: “Why would you work on a Sunday night when you could provide the rugby team with Facetime?”
’18: “My mom went to Harvard, so, you know…”
As a ’17 on for this summer term, I’m affectionately referred to as my sorority’s resident SWUG (senior washed up girl). When (and if) I arrive at tails, people look at me with a mixture of excitement and pity. They pat me on the back and say they’re happy to see me, but then turn to continue socializing with their new friends. Meanwhile, I make a beeline for the drinks table, around which I continue to hover for most of the night.
But my social life wasn’t always this way. I was also here for my freshman summer (doing a vague thing called “research,” which involved turtles and a lot of pong). All I’ll say is that my social life couldn’t have been more different than it is now. So if you’re a sophomore girl, curious about what really happens when you cross the X, here’s the truth: it’s both a blessing and a curse. Mostly a blessing.
Here’s what changes:
Masters. The big weekend has finally arrived…
Masters brackets. Immediately after being released, they were scrutinized, memorized and discussed to no end.
Masters gossip. “His serve isn’t that good… Yeah, but that team saves everything… OMG wait she’s a lefty?!”
Masters. In case you didn’t get the message.
’18: “They have adult milkshakes and nice Jewish boys. My two favorite things!!!”
’18 #1: “When I was little I got in trouble because I took all my younger cousins into the computer room and googled ‘poop.’”
’18 #2: “I googled ‘naked.’ Just ‘naked.’”
A dad at the SHEBAlite show: “Is this interpretive dance?”
Astro TA: “The haze is coming in.”
’18: “Is that interstellar dust?”
TA: “No, it’s like… Clouds.”
Like the millennials we are, we often turn to Google instead of people in times of need. Our Google search history can always be a little disconcerting, but it’s particularly distinctive over sophomore summer – when else will we be looking up the toxicity of copper mines or wondering how to make homemade mac and cheese bites? Nonetheless, there’s no shame in asking Google silly questions – that’s what it’s there for. Here are ten potential topics you’ve Googled this summer: