Facebook @ Now: A Tradition Unlike Any Other

Dartmouth Athletics

“…in recent seasons the throwing of tennis balls has spread to the second, third and fourth goals.”

Dartmouth v. Princeton. 7 PM Tonight (Feb. 27).

Trending @ Dartmouth

Course Changes: Wait, we were supposed to sign up for courses?

-20 Degrees: Here’s a joke: it was actually negative twenty degrees this week.

Vox Weekly: Everything you love about Vox Daily Updates condensed into one simple blitz. Trust us, it’s better than you’d think

The Oscars: Drama, drama, Neil Patrick Harris.

Formal Dates


’16: “I want a job that gives me the kind of adrenaline rush rich people get when they steal from Macy’s”

’18: “Actually, I hear the Dartmouth alumni network dominates the California wine industry.”

’08 (at a reunion): “Who is Phil Hanlon? I keep getting emails from him.”

’17: “Are there any Jewish squash players? Asking for a friend.”

’15 (via facebook chat): “You’re like the modern, gay, female Sherlock Holmes.”

Top Five: Jokes About Dartmouth

Here @Dartbeat, we know that our Ivy League peers like to tease Dartmouth for its northerly location and comparative isolation. That’s fair game — Cornell students need something to laugh about, after all — but it’s important that we are all aware of (and know how to respond to) the jokes that are out there. So, after scouring the darkest corners of the internet, we’ve compiled this list. Read it, and then go forth and research humor related to the rest of the Ivy League so that you can mock them more viciously than they have ever mocked us:

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From the Archives: Dartmouth iPhone Apps in 2010


From the Archives: Dartmouth iPhone Apps in 2010


Five years ago this week, Emma Alexander ’10 suggested Dartmouth-themed iPhone apps in her cartoon column, “Phreddie.” Her ideas were as follows:

I’m all on board for one through three — but four? Hmmm, not sure we really need an app to send our drunk messages for us…

Twitter Profiles: Defunct Dartmouth Twitters


I have always believed that I have some sort of supernatural power. Growing up, I wore the same witch Halloween costume for seven years in a row. When my mom asked me why I refused to buy another costume I told her it was because my inner instincts were informing me that I had a witch godmother, and if I just stuck with it I would discover a new supernatural identity. This mostly had to do with the fact that I wanted a pet cat, and unfortunately my magical powers never came to fruition — until now, that is. Thanks to @Dartbeat, I’ve come to realize that I am, in fact, superhuman. What’s more, I can raise things from the dead. This is exactly what I’ve done this week, taking to the twittersphere to find the funniest “defunct” Dartmouth-related twitter accounts still online and bringing their best work back to life. Yes, these twitters haven’t been active for months, even years. At their height, though, they represented biting social commentary about the Dartmouth community that must be recognized. Alternatively, they were stupid enough to be funny. You be the judge:

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