How to Look Fit: A Guide for NARPs

Dartmouth is an extremely fit place as far as college campuses go. Nearly a quarter of undergraduate students are varsity athletes and three-quarters of undergrads participate in a form of athletics, including club and intramural sports. There is also, however, an extremely large NARP (non-athletic regular person) contingency on this campus, although you may not have guessed it. If you’re a member of this exclusive grouping, chances are you already have some tactics for hiding it or you’ve fully embraced your NARP status. But if you’ve found yourself lost, searching for answers in a sea of rowers and football players, we would like to help. 1. Always go to the gym at the most popular times of the day. Honestly, I don’t know what these times are, but find out and be there! It really doesn’t matter much what you do at the gym, but soon people will start coming up to you and saying things like, “Do you spend all your time here?” The facetime is crucial. Maximize it by taking one of the first machines on the main floor. 2. Regardless of your activity level for the day, wear athletic clothes. Sure, you may just be lying in… Read more »

How To Prepare for Random Downpours


It’s sophomore summer, a time of tanning by the river and reading on the Green. Of course, each beautiful Hanover day we get comes at a price: the ever-looming threat of a sporadic downpour. There’s no rhyme or reason to this crazy New England weather, and even the forecasts can’t seem to get it down. Ever since I had to dump my bag on two of my roommates I saw walking so I could finish biking home through a sudden downpour a few weeks ago, I’ve been extra paranoid about making sure I’m prepared for the all-too-common swings in New Hampshire weather. Here are some tips I’ve accumulated through my own rainy experiences to avoid getting caught unprepared in the rain. 1. Move your bike under cover or indoors when you’re not riding it, or it will start to look like this. 2. Always check the forecast before setting out for the day… not that it will be of much use. Don’t be fooled by the sunshine—those storms roll in fast. If there’s the slightest chance of rain, bring a rain jacket. 3. On that note, bring an umbrella too, just in case. In fact, bring two, so you can… Read more »

Six Realizations You Have When You Realize It’s Week Six


No, that wasn’t a typo. It really is week six of 14X already, and for 16s that means you’re more than halfway through with the famed sophomore summer. At this time of the term, midterms have started up (14Xtremelybehind) and you may find yourself staring at a behemoth of a bucket list with no check marks or slashes through marking completion. Don’t worry, we know how you feel.

1. You’ve hardly done any of your readings/problem sets/any kind of work whatsoever for your classes.

2. That bucket list we mentioned? Yeah, better get started on that one too.

3. Wait, you have how many exams/papers/projects due this week?!

4. And your family arrives on Friday?!

5. Brain is in overload and can’t function.

6. Decide that it’s all a lost cause and retire to your bed to watch Netflix and nap, simply pretending that all the work and stress don’t exist.


FoCo Joe: “Ants on a Raft”

By Joseph Kind, The Dartmouth Staff

This week’s dessert is, strangely enough, inspired by King Arthur Flour’s Instagram account. I have a bad habit of liking food photos more than photos with my friends in them, and this summer, I started following more food accounts than ever before. Yes, food has been on my mind, and this week’s dessert is arguably my least sweet since I began writing this column. Perhaps I am still recovering from the sweetness of my “Sangria” shake, I’m not sure. But as I was scrolling through my food-saturated Instagram newsfeed I stumbled across a photo from King Arthur Flour of a piece of rye bread with peanut butter and cinnamon — yes, cinnamon — on it. What?!

I went to FoCo almost immediately to try the combo, but I couldn’t find any cinnamon. So instead, I have made a KAF-inspired concoction this week that takes me back to my middle school days, when my mom would sometimes make me an afternoon snack that consisted of peanut butter spread on a celery stick with raisins on top — affectionately called “ants on a log.”  My new spin on the dessert, which I am calling “ants on a raft,” uses whole… Read more »

By The Numbers: Four Weeks of 14X

You may be familiar with the monthly Harper’s Index — a well-researched, legitimate list of pithy statistics documenting life around the world. This is not the Harper’s Index. But since we’re more than a month into sophomore summer, I feel that it’s time to look back on what students at Dartmouth have accomplished so far in our own, newly-minted Dartbeat index. I’m not a math major, so some of these stats may be a tiny bit off, but believe me when I say that they’re based on solid observational evidence.

Dartbeat’s Sophomore Summer Index

Average number of classes I imagine my peers are taking: 2.4

Number of items on my Sophomore Summer bucket list: 53

Number of bucket list items I have accomplished: 10

Number of bucket lists I have actually written down: 0

Average number of daylight hours I spend sleeping: 6

Average daily hours spent outside: 5

Average weekly hours of motivation: -4

Percent of undergraduates I suspect have acquired illegitimate air conditioners: 47

Percent of undergraduates I imagine are suffering from heat regardless: 100

Chance that I’m at the river (natural watercourse): 1 in 4

Chance that I’m at the River (unnatural cluster): 0

Factor by which I am less… Read more »

Collis Concoctions

 My goal for the past two terms has been to step up my FoCo game, especially with such limited DDS locations and hours during the summer. Collis, however, has always been harder for me to work with. Stir-fry and pasta are pretty straight-forward – pick a sauce, add some veggies, boom, you’re done. Trying to mix it up meant I had to get creative.  But if you think your options are restricted, maybe you’re not thinking about it the right way. Breakfast Egg white or regular omelette? There’s much more at stake here, trust me. Collis breakfast was the only thing that got me to 7:45 a.m. drill on time. You would think I’d be an expert at navigating it by now. You would also be wrong. The box of somewhat-decent bananas helps me out, but the bread at the end of the salad bar seems sadly underappreciated.  Throw some peanut butter on a slice, add banana slices and steal honey from the smoothie station. You now have a solid meal to start the day.         Lunch This is where you really get crazy with the stir-fry. Try a sauce you’ve never had before and then another. Add your own… Read more »