The Eight Stages of Deciding Whether or Not to Go Out


1. I think I’m going to stay in, I’m not feeling too ragey tonight…












2. Good call! I can probably get some homework done, too.











3. On second thought, I don’t want to do too much work. If I’m staying in, I deserve to at least watch a movie!









4. But if I’m going to waste time and not even get any homework done, I might as well spend that time out, right?









5. Some of my friends are going out, too… I can watch a movie on any night.











6. NO. You’re exhausted and have work to do. Get your priorities straight.














7. *Insert burst of energy here*











8. Out I go.

Top 7 Guesses for Who Donated the $100 Million

Courtesy of

My first two questions when I heard about the anonymous $100 million gift: 1. “Can we get that in dollar bills so I can roll around in it?” 2. “Did Phil Hanlon make it rain when he got the news?” But finally, I wondered who in the world donated $100 million and didn’t want to take credit for it?! Here are a few of my theories on who hooked Dartmouth up: 1. Dr. Seuss (Theodor Seuss Geisel ’25) I am anonymous donor Anonymous donor I am Would you like some big green (if you know what I mean) and ham? Would you like it here or there? Would you like it in a frat house, would you like it for Phil Hanlon’s spouse? Would you want it for DBA in the Box? Would you want it for your vox? As Dr. Seuss famously said, “unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” Yes, Dr. Seuss may have passed in 1991, but only a true wizard could rhyme “figgering” with “biggering.” Obviously his powers are out of this this world, so he could easily have found a way to hand over the $100 million to his alma… Read more »

18 Questions for the 18s

With the new, less conspicuous, spread-out Dimensions schedule, prospie spotting (covered in depth in a recent post by Samantha Webster ’15) is now more along the lines of “’18s, they’re just like us” than akin to seeing a unicorn on campus. Regardless, there’s something magical about beings who have yet to drink the green Kool-Aid. With that in mind, here are some questions I would like to ask the ’18s. 1. What’s your favorite shade of green? We all know the best part about going to Dartmouth is that forest (aka “lone pine”) green is universally flattering. 2. What is Dartmouth’s mascot? No, really, I want to know. 3. What are you most excited for at college? Are you more excited for no parents or midnight mozz sticks and tenders? It’s a constant competition. After all, parents help with laundry and give much-needed (and oft-ignored-before-it’s-too-late) life advice. But tenders… 4. Which Boston suburb, Westchester town or California city do you hail from? More often than not, Dartmouth students call one of those geographic areas home. Boston may be wicked awesome, but NorCal is hella cool. New York slang is beyond my comprehension. 5. What are you going to do with your last summer that doesn’t… Read more »

8 Signs Spring Has Come to Dartmouth

Courtesy of Disney

1. You’re super excited to frolick on the Green once again.

2. As long as no one asks you to play Frisbee with them.

3. All of a sudden, there are sundresses galore and bare limbs every direction you turn.

4. And after months of perpetual winter, you remember that you don’t exactly love the heat either.

5. You realize that your life is a never-ending struggle to be at a comfortable temperature.

6. At most schools, the rain cools people down a bit.

7. But at Dartmouth, it starts snowing again.

8. And you’re back to square one.

Appetizing April: A DDS Food Face-Off, Round 3 (The Elite ‘Ate’)


This week definitely saw a weaker voter turnout despite some tight races between. I am going to attribute it to the stomach bug and fever going around, but is everyone too sickly to even contemplate food?! Ah well, the battle must continue. Now comes the time to pick the final four and see which food is the most popular at each dining hall. Collis: Stir-fry (55%) > Mozz sticks (45%) Smoothies (57%) > Pasta (43%) It is hard for me to let mozz sticks and pasta leave the competition, and I don’t seem to be alone, according to the close races. While I personally am just too impatient to wait in line for smoothies and stir-fry, I guess there is a reason the line is always so long. Stir-fry and smoothies also seem like warmer weather options, so perhaps many of us are yearning for the spring – this 70 degrees to snow in 48 hours fluctuation needs to stop. FoCo: Chocolate chip cookies (86%) > Pizza (14%) General Tso’s Chicken (52%) > Pierogies (48%) Anything that goes up against chocolate chip cookies never seems to even stand a chance. Will General Tso’s chicken be the first worthy competitor? The dessert section seems to be preferred at FoCo,… Read more »

A Night at the Hop Garage Bar

Thursday, April 10th 3:59 p.m. In a shocking and unprecedented twist of fate, I somehow started and finished my work earlier than midnight of the day before it was due. I decide to spend my wide-open night at the Hop Garage Bar, the new (and alternative) Dartmouth social space. My friends have said only good things about the past two Thursdays – dark ’n’ stormy night and wine tasting night. I am a little more skeptical about this week’s BarHop with beer and cider — mostly because it sounds far less exotic. But what else is there to do on a Thursday night in Hanover that doesn’t involve Baker-Berry? 4:00 p.m. – 8:30 p.m. I proceed to waste time for the rest of the afternoon and evening. 8:30-9:00 p.m. I shower and look through my wardrobe (note: my floor and the foot of my bed) to find a “Hop Garage-appropriate” outfit. However, I know next to nothing about the weekly-shifting scene and I generally dress like every other Dartmouth girl so I end up in jeans, boots and some sort of top. I throw on a cardigan to give my ensemble a leg up over a frat outfit. 9:13 p.m…. Read more »