A Beginner’s Guide to Hanover Trails

How to Look Fit: A Guide for NARPs

Dartmouth is an extremely fit place as far as college campuses go. Nearly a quarter of undergraduate students are varsity athletes and three-quarters of undergrads participate in a form of athletics, including club and intramural sports. There is also, however, an extremely large NARP (non-athletic regular person) contingency on this campus, although you may not have guessed it. If you’re a member of this exclusive grouping, chances are you already have some tactics for hiding it or you’ve fully embraced your NARP status. But if you’ve found yourself lost, searching for answers in a sea of rowers and football players, we would like to help. 1. Always go to the gym at the most popular times of the day. Honestly, I don’t know what these times are, but find out and be there! It really doesn’t matter much what you do at the gym, but soon people will start coming up to you and saying things like, “Do you spend all your time here?” The facetime is crucial. Maximize it by taking one of the first machines on the main floor. 2. Regardless of your activity level for the day, wear athletic clothes. Sure, you may just be lying in… Read more »

6 Ways to Step Up Your IM Sports Game

trash talk

Summer is the perfect time to take up an intramural sport. Whether you’re showing off your softball skills or letting the World Cup get to your head and telling everyone you’re trying out “football,” chances are you could use some advice for amping up your IM game. Dust off those cleats and go borrow a real athlete for practice – we’re about to get sporty.

1. Watch inspirational sports movies to get pumped up. Talladega Nights is always a great selection.

2. Sit on the “athlete” side at Foco – something about the poor lighting and presence of large humans will make you more athletic, I promise.

3. If you’re playing soccer, become Tim Howard. This is a simple step to take and I’m not sure why you haven’t done it already.

4. Trash talk. This is a tried-and-true tactic that has improved morale and inflated egos for as long as sports have existed. Use it to your advantage.

5. Show no mercy. Start walking around campus like you own it. Practice your intimidation techniques.

6. Refuse to show weakness of any sort. Intramural sports are a dog-eat-dog world; if you approach it with the utmost seriousness, you may just emerge victorious.

The Top 7 Locations For Watching The World Cup On Campus

With the spectacle of the World Cup captivating us this month, it has rarely been more important to find a place on campus to watch sporting events. You already know most of the go-to spots: first floor Collis, 8 Ball Hall, upstairs FoCo, or your friends’ on- or off-campus houses. Some may even venture into Hanover to watch games at local restaurants. Your intrepid correspondents here at Dartbeat, however, recognize that it is 2014. With many games streaming live on ESPN, viewers are no longer constrained by the need to find a television, since they can watch from the comfort of their own laptops. With that in mind, we’ve scoured the nooks and crannies of campus to find the most underrated and unknown locations to take in the World Cup.   7. Center of the Green On the Green, you can work on your tan without missing a single shot! While we can’t predict the weather on any given day, the stars predict you’ll see a little bit of sunshine over the next few weeks—at least, that’s what we’ve learned from reading the Astro 2 syllabus. Note: Dartmouth Secure is stronger on the side of the Green closest to Robinson… Read more »

7 P.E. Classes We Wish Were Offered For 14X


Because summer “Swimsuit Season” is officially unavoidable. Here are some ideas for the P.E. classes that we wish we could take this summer, while receiving that good ol’ P.E. credit.

1) River Swimming: almost open water swimming but not really.

2) Anything with a yacht, because boats are cool and I want to look good when I am in one.

3) Aerobic Conditioning with Keggy the Keg: wearing that costume all day has to be pretty challenging, plus any excuse to hang out with Keggy is a good one!

4) Outdoor Pong: for appreciating the elements.

5) Bear Fighting: taking “Man vs. Wild” to the extreme.  Or just in case we are all mysteriously transported to Westeros.

6) Tanning for Dummies, a.k.a. Pale People Support Group

7) Getting Rowdy for Prouty — long-distance running training couldn’t hurt!


Let’s get active this summer.

Fourteen Truths We’ve Discovered in Honor of the ’14s

Even though our editors explicitly told us not to write another blog this term, we have made the decision to flat out reject their demands and give people not the blog they deserve, but the one they need right now. We also think it’s funny that our editors have literally no idea when they will receive a blog in the email from us. Despite their repeated attempts to extinguish the creative flames that burn so brightly in our young hearts, we will continue sending them blogs at all hours of the night, whenever possessed. Thus far, Riding the Pine has been a mixture of fun and games. This week we’d like to start getting sentimental in honor of our blog’s milestone fourth entry (third under its current title) and in honor of the departure of the senior class. We view ourselves as in direct competition for page views with the ladies from “What Have We Done?” but we have to admit that their articles on senior spring have been good and ours on “sports” have been bad. Rather than admitting that the difference in quality is due to the writers, we decided to take the low road and blame the… Read more »