Fauxracha at FoCo: Uncovering a Conspiracy

Courtesy of Rebecca Rodriguez

You pick up a bowl of bibimbap at World View, being careful not to burn yourself on the piping hot stone, err…plastic bowl and breathe in the delicious aroma of sub-par Korean cuisine. You notice it’s missing a little something and head over to FoCo’s condiment section. As you reach out for what would be the perfect compliment to your meal, you realize something is wrong. There is no green cap on this red bottle of sauce…it’s…yellow? What you’re holding is, in fact, fauxracha.
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Non-Greek Green Key Events

With Green Key upon us, campus is abuzz in anticipation of the wild, lively and largely unpredictable days ahead.

 It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the seemingly endless things to do, places to be and people to see. Even if the Greek scene isn’t for you, don’t worry because there are plenty of fun and entertaining things to do outside of Webster Avenue. Whether you’re interested in performing arts or just looking to escape the chaos (and maybe the rain), here are some events worth going to on campus this weekend.

Collis Mainstage: Live Music

Thursday May 15, 5-10 p.m.

Stop by Collis Patio to catch the performances of Etna Old Time Association (5 p.m.), Reckless Breakfast (6:15 p.m.), Joe Marson & the Satisfied Mind (7:30 p.m.) and Tallahassee (8:45 p.m.) as they share their music all evening.

Mr. and Mrs. Big Green Competition
Thursday May 15, 7 p.m.

In this spirit competition for charity, students display their best theatrical talent and compete to be crowned “Mr. and Mrs. Big Green.”

Collis Kite Contest
Friday May 16, 12:30-5:30 p.m.

Who doesn’t love building and flying kites? Anyone can come out to Collis Common Ground on Friday to compete for the best kite. 

Collis Mainstage: Live Music
Friday May 16, 3-7:30 p.m.

Catch the performances of Brooks Hubbard (3 p.m.), The Guys (4 p.m.), Misterwives (5 p.m.) and Greenroom (6:15 p.m.) on Collis Patio as they share their diverse music/talents for all to hear.

Hop Film: “Bettie Page Reveals All” (2012)
Friday May 16, 7 p.m.

Watch the story of a meager Southern-girl turned famous pin-up model as she recounts her scandalous, seemingly mythical journey through struggle, fame and retirement. This alluring film highlights sexual expression displayed by Bettie Page during the onset of the sexual revolution.

Collis Mainstage: Live Music
Saturday May 17, 1-10 p.m.

Once again, Collis Patio will be a scene for much of Saturday as Friday Night Rock presents Student Musicians (1-5 p.m.), followed by The Doyle Bros (7:30 p.m.) and Biscuits & Gravy (9 p.m.).

DFS Film: “The Grand Illusion” (1937)
Saturday May 17, 4 p.m.

A famous and world-renowned picture, this film features the recovered anti-war masterpiece of Jean Renoir during World War I. Emotional, amusing and fascinating, it is perfect for any history aficionado.

23rd Annual Alpha Phi Alpha Step Show
Saturday May 17, 6 p.m.

Catch the brothers of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity at the Hop for their Green Key Step Show. Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Lambda Upsilon Lambda Fraternity, Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, SHEBA, Street Seoul and Ujima are all performing at this event, which continues to be one of the largest student-run events on Dartmouth’s campus. You don’t want to miss it! 

Hop Film: “Le Week-end” (2014)
Saturday May 17, 7 p.m.

In this film, a struggling old couple seeks to relive their youth in a wistful trip to Paris. A dramatic comedy, “Le Week-end” (2014) is sure to be an entertaining pick-me-up.

Handel Society of Dartmouth College
Saturday May 17, 8 p.m.

You don’t want to miss the Handel Society performing Mozart’s Mass in C Minor on Saturday. Featuring Dann Coakwell, David McFerrin, Julia Steinbok, Janinah Burnett and Dartmouth’s 100-voice chorus, this performance is sure to please. 

Collis After Dark comedy show
Saturday May 17, 11 p.m.

Catch the Collis After Dark comedy show featuring Tracey Ashley at One Wheelock Saturday night. A preview of her comedy can be seen on NBC’s “Last Comic Standing” as well as Wanda Sykes’s “HERlarious.”


The Unfailing Guide to Finding a Table at Collis

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Sometimes you want eggs just badly enough that you’re willing to risk life and limb to find a table at Collis. We’ve all been there: the nervous glances scanning the room, the sinking feeling when you think you’ve spotted a table but someone’s coat is hanging just out of sight on one of the plastic chairs, the awkward walk/jog when trying to beat someone to the last patio table. How does one go about finding a spot amidst the madness? Here’s a flowchart that might help you out.

What You’ll Actually Find When Venturing Into Collis Basement


When Dartmouth students hear “Collis,” they tend to think of late night chicken tenders, DIY smoothies or stir-fry for dinner. There is so much more to our official student center than the café, however, and a variety of students have learned that an excursion downstairs can lead to a new favorite study spot or weekend hangout space. Whether you’re playing pool or hunting for school supplies, a multitude of rooms in Collis basement offer something for everyone.


General Open Area

This is a popular eat-and-study space, with laptops frequently open next to lunches from upstairs. The openness and close proximity to a Green Print station make this a prime work area.

One Wheelock

Home to Kwame’s Open Mic on Wednesdays, One Wheelock’s vibe tends to be similar to that of an actual coffee shop, with free tea and coffee options adding to the effect. Board games are also available at the entrance, though I’ve never seen anyone actually play one. A cozy study spot with a slight hum to its atmosphere, this space can be a great spot to curl up with a textbook on a rainy day while drinking hazelnut coffee to keep you from falling asleep.


Silly ’17s tend to refer to this little store as “Collis Market,” but if you’re a wise upperclassman you’ll stick to the classic name (it only makes sense — it’s not like the cashier asks you, “Collis Market or DASH?”). Apparently the name changed when the market moved from the ground floor to downstairs Collis. Regardless, Topside is a nice resource for grabbing a toothbrush or some Ben and Jerry’s without schlepping all the way down to CVS (which is obviously way too far without a car). When it’s open, that is; I’ve stopped by in the past after checking the hours online only to find the market randomly closed.

8 Ball Hall

I just learned at the beginning of this term that the room of pool tables, foosball and arcade-style video game machines has an actual name. The space used to belong to FUEL, a mysterious entity I was introduced to during my Dimensions weekend via a poster advertising a dance party there and then again through an open a cappella rehearsal my freshman fall. I then promptly forgot about it until I noticed the new name recently and, despite my ignorance, I think the space is being put to good use. One wall is devoted entirely to chalk drawings, and the chairs and tables around the outside provide more mealtime seating in addition to the recreational space. Hopefully now that I’m more informed my future as a pool shark can begin to take shape.

TV Room

Can you guess what’s in this room? The extent of my experience with this room-with-a-television-in-it was one time when my friend and I ran out of options for places to eat our Collis pasta; we headed downstairs, found nothing and ended up spotting the TV Room with all its lights off. Interestingly enough, two people were in the room when we walked in, sitting in separate seats and just talking in the dark. The situation was weird, but we were hungry and out of options so my friend and I sat down anyway. I guess I’m not very qualified to give an accurate description of this room’s character, but the seating is nice if you’re looking for a really secluded place to eat or watch TV. Just please keep the lights on so we’re all comfortable.

Mysterious Doors

There’s the men’s restroom, there’s the women’s restroom, and then there’s the unmarked door with a corkboard on it scrawled with black marker asking for everyone to “Please keep this door locked, thanks.” Several other grey doors with nothing to distinguish them as leading anywhere suggest that there’s even more to Collis basement than the average student could ever imagine.