A Guide to Watching the Super Bowl for People Who Aren’t Football Fans

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Courtesy of timeout.com

To be honest, I have no idea why I thought I was qualified to write anything about the Super Bowl. I know nothing about the teams playing (for those still unsure of the names, this year it’s the Denver Broncos versus the Seattle Seahawks), nor do I really understand the rules of football. But I still usually watch some of the game every year, so here are my Super Bowl tips for those who feel the same way I do.

FOOD!

Super Bowl parties provide the perfect opportunity to consume all the unhealthy finger food you’ve been craving. So indulge in the hearty (and probably fried) selections!

If you have a lot of friends, or are feeling particularly hungry, I recommend that you try your hand at making your own Super Bowl Snackadium à la Buzzfeed. Make sure to Instagram it though – it would be sad to devour all of your craftiness without impressing your friends via social media.

Courtesy of Buzzfeed

The Ads

If you thought you had to wait until the Super Bowl to watch the most entertaining parts (the ads!), think again! This year many companies have released teasers, or even leaked entire commercials, to tantalize viewers. This gives you a chance to preview them so that you can prepare witty commentary to regale your companions with.

My personal favorite so far, for obvious reasons, is the Budweiser “Puppy Love” ad. If you’d rather watch adorable puppies instead of football, I suggest that you sneakily switch the channel to Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl.

The Halftime Show

Last winter I was studying abroad and didn’t bother with anything Super Bowl related, but I still managed to watch Beyoncé’s entire halftime show: if it’s Beyoncé, I find a way. The shows tend to be hit or miss, but at least they provide a necessary break from the game. No guarantees about Bruno Mars this year – he has nowhere near the cachet that Queen Bey does.

Acceptable Sunday Drinking

As a warning, one beer might make you a bit tipsier than usual since you’re not used to drinking on a Sunday. Make sure to drink a beer suitably patriotic for watching such an American sport. None of that imported craft beer allowed; this is not supposed to be a hipster or high-class pursuit.

Tight Ends

Comment on who has the best “tight end” (if you catch my drift). See what other football terms you can make into puns or irreverently mock.

Just Give Up on Actually Trying to Follow the Game

“Which color are we rooting for again?” is a question that I have asked way too many times during football games. I have yet to fully learn the rules, and I haven’t been interested enough to try to learn. At this point, it’s best if I just don’t bother commenting on any of the actual plays. Instead, I save my insight for all the other aspects of the event.

Enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday!

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Homecoming football worth the effort

 

 

Courtesy Of Dartmouth Sports

Home­com­ing week­end is, ar­guably, Dart­mouth’s old­est and most beloved tra­di­tion. Stu­dents, trustees and alumni alike come from ’round the gir­dled Earth to march in the pa­rade, yell around the bon­fire and of course, to watch Dart­mouth sports teams re­turn from vis­it­ing op­po­nents to play on their home fields. With only 72 hours of pre­cious Home­com­ing to go around, I give you the good and bad of two of the Col­lege’s most pop­u­lar spec­ta­tor sports, in clas­sic-Dart­mouth “pro-con-pro,” fash­ion, so you can de­cide whether mak­ing it to a sport­ing event this week­end is more worth­while than the Steam Tun­nel Tours (note: it is). Today I’ll dis­cuss foot­ball, to­mor­row I’ll ex­plore the Amer­i­can game’s up and com­ing rival — rugby.

Dart­mouth Foot­ball

Pro: The face­time. Whether at the height of grid­iron glory, like in 1996 when the even­tual Ivy League Cham­pi­ons held onto a per­fect sea­son, or in the depths of loser ter­ri­tory (er—2008 was a rough year for Heath Ledger, too) the Dart­mouth com­mu­nity just can’t get enough of Big Green foot­ball. Foot­ball al­ways draws a siz­able crowd and at­tend­ing their games is a sure-fire way to see and be seen. So even if that date with your hot floor­mate from Malta turns awk­ward (you took her to the wrong game; in Eu­rope, foot­ball = soc­cer), no wor­ries—try and see if you can land a sick in­tern­ship with that bel­liger­ent ’81 sit­ting next to you who just hap­pens to own a hedge fund.

Con: There is that whole los­ing thing. Though slated to fin­ish in the Ivy League this year, Big Green foot­ball suf­fered its fourth-straight loss to Holy Cross this week­end. Sure, the seven new light tow­ers at Memo­r­ial Field give off a ‘Fri­day Night Lights,’ feel — but it’s hard to enjoy that greasy con­ces­sion stand hot­dog in freez­ing rain after watch­ing Penn end an 89-yard drive in a touch­down with only 17 sec­onds left. And noth­ing will make you choke up that Diet Coke faster than a fum­bled re­turn that gives pos­ses­sion back to the Bull­dogs. Ouch! Let’s hope the Big Green can du­pli­cate last year’s 24-21 win against Co­lum­bia this Home­com­ing week­end. Kick-off at Memo­r­ial Field will be on Oct. 22 at 1:30 p.m.

Pro: You have a good chance of being on TV and all your friends in the SEC and Big 12 (R.I.P.) will fi­nally be­lieve you when you say that Dart­mouth does have a real foot­ball team. This fall will mark the eigh­teenth con­sec­u­tive sea­son that Dart­mouth foot­ball has had at least one sea­son game tele­vised. Fox Col­lege Sports Net­work will show the Big Green’s con­test with Crim­son host on Oct. 29 at 6 p.m. But per­haps you should skip the hot­dogs al­to­gether, since I hear the cam­era adds 10 pounds.

Djibouti emerges victorious at Dartmouth’s world cup tournament

 

 

There may be a lot of con flict in this world, but there’s one thing most na tions agree on: a love for soc cer. Dart mouth showed its “foot ball” spirit last Sat ur day, as teams rep re sent ing 22 coun tries bonded over the In ter na tional Stu dent As so ci a tion’s World Cup Soc cer tour­na ment.

The event began at noon with a bar beque, and the tour na ment started around 12:45 on the Gold Coast lawn. For 4.5 hours, teams of six played each other in four rounds of com pet i tive play. Teams had to meet ahead of time to spray paint shirts for their adopted coun tries, which or ga niz ers Richard Wai t umbi and Richard Asala agreed con tributed to the in tense amount of team spirit they wit nessed on the field.

Though the stakes at Dart mouth’s World Cup weren’t quite as high as those at FIFA’s tour­na ment, play ers took the game very se ri ously. True to good foot balling form, sev eral groups got worked up about bad calls by ref er ees. Ale jan dro Gomez-Bar bosa ’14, who played on the Licht en stein team, even squat ted and prayed be fore his team took a penalty shot.

In the end, Dji bouti beat Swe den 2-1 in the fi nals. Team Dji bouti con sisted of Max Deibel ’14, El liot San born ’14, Kath leen Her ring ’14, Eliana Piper ’14, Sam Tanyos ’11 and Matt Dahlhausen ’11. Dji bouti was an un der dog through out the tour na ment and most be lieved that Swe den would prove vic to ri ous. The MVP of the tour na ment was Carlo Pizzinelli ’12, who played for Sey chelles.

The In ter na tional Stu dents As so ci a tion has hosted in tra mural bare foot soc cer over the sum mer, but this tour na ment was the first open to the whole cam pus. Wai t umbi and Asala said they hope that the tour na ment will be come an an nual spring event.

Dartmouth football to continue historic series with UNH

Dartmouth College has agreed to resume its traditional football rivalries with the College of the Holy Cross, the University of New Hampshire, Colgate University and the University of Rhode Island, according to the Concord Monitor. Competition between these schools began in October of 1901, but the series has been on hiatus since September 2009. Dartmouth will play an away game against UNH on September 27, 2014 and host UNH for the season opening game in 2016, according to an announcement made by Dartmouth’s athletic department.

Where to Watch: Dartmouth Does the Super Bowl

Super Bowl Sunday is a time when people all over the country get together with friends, turn on their TV sets and watch the big game. A range of options was available to Dartmouth students for viewing this Sunday, and the spot where a student watched the game left a larger impact on their experience than the game itself.

Within Dartmouth’s Greek system, many fraternities hosted watch parties, setting up a big screen TV or projector in order to accommodate a larger viewing audience.

“It was fun,” Reilly Bertasi ’13, a member of Delta Delta Delta sorority, said. Bertasi watched the game at Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity with many of her sorority sisters.

“They had a projector set up and a lot of good food,” she said. “It felt like a party.”

Bertasi, who wasn’t rooting for any particular team, went to SAE for the social atmosphere more than anything else, she said.

“There were a lot of people talking and hanging out,” she said. “I feel like if you’re really trying to watch the football, it might not be the best place to go.”

Bertasi also noted the presence of many freshmen, as the event was also an informal rush event for SAE.

Rett Young ’14 chose to watch part of the game at a party at Phi Delta Alpha fraternity. Young also noted that there were many dorm room watch parties, one of which he returned to for the second half of the game.

Off of Webster Avenue, many students decided to watch the game on the big screen set up for the occasion in One Wheelock. One Wheelock Manager Antonio Brown ’11 described the event as a last-minute effort, but one that was well received.

“We weren’t sure if we would end up having a party until essentially the day of,” Brown said, citing funding uncertainty and paperwork issues. “However, we were able to secure some resources through [Collis Governing Board], and we ended up ordering some wings and pizza.”

Although the crowd fluctuated, Brown estimated that roughly 30 people were watching the game at any time in One Wheelock.

The Deregtory

Well, I am officially no longer a college football player. We played our last game on Saturday, finishing the season in style with a 31-0 win over Princeton. It was our first shutout since 1996 and capped our first winning season since 1997. It’s sad to know that football is done, but it ended about as well as it could have. I didn’t cry after the game, which was a pleasant surprise, and finishing with a shutout was a nice exclamation point on our careers. Also, I know that football isn’t really done forever because hopefully someday I’ll have the opportunity to make my son play football and live vicariously through him.

Just as sad as being done with football is being done with the Deregtory, and I decided that I wanted to do something special this week. Seeing as it is an emotional time for me and I have always expressed myself best through poetry, I decided to write a poem. I hope you like it.

An Ode to Dartmouth Football

My Dartmouth football career started three years ago,
Despite my toned physique, expectations were low.
I wasn’t recruited, came in as a walk-on,
Helmet, shoulder pads, cleats, and jock on.

Leaving for college was very nerve-racking,
Playing football, I thought I was in for a shellacking.
All summer long I lifted weights and ate my veggies,
Unfortunately that didn’t prepare me for an onslaught of wedgies.

I’m actually just kidding, there’s no hazing on our team,
If any compliance officers are reading, the freshman life is a dream,
But on the field, the move to college was a tough transition,
Had dreams of gridiron glory; none came to fruition.

Then sophomore year was anything but fun,
We lost all ten games, couldn’t even win one.
A short list of things made me happy that year:
Family, friends, the occasional ice-cold beer.

Lost the first five games of junior year, had a losing streak of 17,
Losing ten games was bad, but this was just getting obscene.
Finally on homecoming we broke that wretched curse,
We were still not very good, but thankfully Columbia was worse.

This year we appeared to finally turn the corner,
Thanks in large part to our fans, and the shrieking of Katie Horner.
Dartmouth football glory, we began to restore,
We won six of our games, and only lost four.

The winning record was our first in 13 seasons,
As to why it took so long, I can offer only one reason.
So ponder this question over a tea, or a cold lager:
Did any of those 13 teams have a bench-warming blogger?

For leading us to six wins, I will surely be exalted,
As for the losses, how could a backup be faulted?
Either way, what matters most is what football has given me,
Big muscles, concussions, free sweatpants and hoodies.

I know that someday I will look back on these years and smile,
About the friends I’ve made, the memories we’ve compiled.
But now it’s time for me to move on to the next thing,
Good luck to the boys next year, and bring home that ring!

Thanks for reading all year, I hope you have enjoyed it because I’ve had a great time writing. There’s a chance I am going to start blogging again in the spring, but until then I’ve created a Twitter account (@thederegtory) to keep you posted on all of the really important things that I usually have to say. Thanks again to everybody who helped make my senior season a memorable one, and GO DARTMOUTH!