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Texts From Last Night: Homecoming Edition

Well, it’s happened. The big fall weekend has come and gone, the fire has been touched, the miles have been run. And the late night texts have been sent. We’ve found some of your best texts amid the Homecoming frolicking and although the weekend is over, the texts will live on (even if you don’t remember them).

The perils of Late Night Collis.

415: Drunk for Dumplings, no DBA
415: Hey that rhymed

When does the networking end? (Hint: it doesn’t)

617: I’ll actually try to wingman though the fact that I shadowed his father for a day and am connected with him on linkedin might be hard to suppress
617: Just subtly punch me in the face if I seem like I’m about to bring it up 

The real meaning of anarchy.

603: cocoa butter kisses
781: anarchy

Precaution taken to the next level.

603: Walked my bike because I didn’t want a DUI

DroCo is the only way to FoCo.

443: wait nvm. you probably don’t want dinner with drunk me
443: unless you do

The futile apologies of late-night munchies.

252: I ate so much of ur bread last night I’m sorry


17 Hours at Dartmouth College

Portsmouth, England. Oct. 17, 1714, 8:00 p.m. My time machine is finally complete! Now I must travel 300 years into the future to discover a cure for the smallpox that has been plaguing the village. I need to do so quickly — this thunderstorm is growing bigger as we speak. I have the date and location programmed into the machine. I will write again from the future. A grassy field, Portsmouth, England. Oct. 17, 2014, 8:00 p.m. It worked! I barely made it away though; a tree branch came flying through the window and hit the controllers right before I left, but it didn’t seem to have affected anything. Portsmouth has changed quite a bit in 300 years, however. I am now standing on the edge of a grassy field, and a large wooden structure with the number 18 on its top is in the center of the field. People walk around me, some alone, some in small groups. Many are wearing green shirts with the number 18 on the front. While they all speak English, they do so with a strange accent I have never heard before. But no matter, I’ll just turn off the time machine and then go find the cure. A grassy field,… Read more »

Dartmouth Admissions: Part Three


This is the third week of Dartmouth Admissions and I have effectively run through my list of people who owe me favors. So I’ve become that crazy person standing outside the admissions building yelling at people innocently trying to get lunch at Collis to “COME ADMIT SOMETHING TO ME.” Let me tell you, sounding like a crazy person is exhausting.

From what I can tell from heckling, the Dartmouth community is either comprised of: a. immensely self-confident people who truly are too proud of everything they have done to “not be able to remember anything embarrassing,” or b. a bunch of liars. I guess there is the ever-possible c. people who don’t enjoy telling their deepest secrets to strangers. That being said, while writing this article, I have met some incredible people who were unafraid to admit to hysterical things.

This weekend was Homecoming, a time filled with alums, students pretending to care about football, pong (real pong, not that root nonsense in the Mindy Project this week) and of course running laps around a giant fire. So I hope you went out, had fun, got a little crazy; you can always admit to me later this week.

All photos by Grace Miller, The Dartmouth… Read more »

FoCo Joe: Homecoming French Fry Bonfire

Happy Homecoming everyone!  What better way to celebrate this wonderful weekend than with an exciting French Fry Bonfire straight from FoCo? This week’s dessert is French fries topped with “the fire” – no, it is not spicy, nor is it the predictable ketchup-mustard combo. This is a dessert fire, if you will—a sweet and creamy concoction of vanilla soft serve, orange soda and (since it is fall) a touch of pumpkin ice cream.  This week’s dessert, unlike last week’s Apple Burger, is incredibly easy to replicate. Step 1: Grab a handful of fries, around 20 or so, from the grill station. If you want to make a giant bonfire, by all means go for it; this dessert is intended to serve one to two people (also unlike most of my other dessert creations — woohoo!). Step 2: Stack fries “log cabin” style — two parallel French fries to start the first layer, then another pair of French fries on top as another “story.”  The second pair is perpendicular to the first “story.” Use longer French fries at the bottom of the bonfire, and shorter ones toward the top. Step 3: Mix vanilla soft serve (or ice cream — it’s just a preference thing… Read more »

Homecoming: Thoughts from an ’18

In case you have been living under a rock and/or you haven’t looked up from your notes because you’ve been studying for midterms, Dartmouth Homecoming is this Friday, October 17!!!!! Coming to Dartmouth, I knew two things about Homecoming – first-years run around a huge bonfire, and it’s one of the few times a year when you have to lock your door. My knowledge of Homecoming remained frighteningly scant until this past weekend, when people finally started talking about it and my UGA gave us the lowdown at our floor meeting. Here are a few thoughts/questions I have as it approaches. 1) How am I supposed to dress for the bonfire? My UGA casually mentioned that things have been known to melt or burn at the bonfire (as it is after all, a massive fire). I know enough to not touch it (not trying to get arrested) but what if I accidentally get too close and my eyebrows are singed off? And it’s going to be cold, but also really hot near the fire, and I’ll get even warmer running those 118 laps (just kidding). I guess I should bring layers? But where will I put them?! #struggles. Regardless, I… Read more »

The Great 14W Countdown


All good things must come to an end. And regardless of whether you classify 14W as having been “good,” it doesn’t change the fact that we are currently in week 8…out of 9. So whether you’re already hitting the books or dusting off your heels and heading to formal, we can all agree that things are getting a little bit crazy. Those who find themselves exasperated by the term are counting down the days until spring break while some are anxiously anticipating the start of 14S. Deadlines may be approaching but with each day that passes we’re getting a little bit closer to some of the good stuff. Days until the last day of finals period (last day is March 14): 15 days Are our profs even aware of this? The amount of work I have to do is definitely not matching up with the amount of time we have left. The library is getting overcrowded with people, coats and empty coffee cups, and the days have a weird way of feeling both endless and too short. Luckily we only have 15 left. Days until Spring Break (starts March 15): 16 days Whether you have plans to head off somewhere exotic with friends… Read more »