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Touching the Fire – ’18s Edition

“Others in the crowd may maliciously yell out, ‘Worst class ever!’ or ’Touch the fire!’ Those are the chants of those misguided souls who may believe that tradition lives on in demeaning the experiences of others.”

It reads like a celestial warning but in reality, this is a quote from the 2013 Homecoming edition of the undergraduate dean’s newsletter, advising the Class of 2017 not to touch the fire. The warning was short-lived —  members of the Class of 2017 touched the fire, as did those in the Class of 2018 last week. While not everyone approves of touching the fire, and even fewer students consider it a tradition, having the upperclassmen yell “touch the fire” at the running freshmen is something that has happened at Dartmouth for many years. And this is not where the story ends. Not only do the upperclassmen chant during the bonfire, but various freshmen deviate from their circular leaps to do exactly as they are told. In the rush of the moment, they run toward the hot, blazing bonfire as if they were jumping in as a sacrifice to a mighty fire god (think about it, this is more similar to pagan rites than we would like to admit). However, this is Dartmouth,… Read more »

Dartmouth Admissions: Part Four


I have decided to officially nominate Kanye West to be the unofficial frontman of this column.  Not just because my friend sent me this the other day, but because he never gets embarrassed, he is honest with himself and he always loves himself.  He doesn’t take shit from anyone and he never fails to let people know how he feels about them. If Kanye went to Dartmouth he would dance like no one was watching at Sig Ep’s Pop-Punk party, be that kid who corrects the teacher in the middle of class, and generally do “dope shit.” I am most certain Kanye would admit something to me with his face like this to drive home the point that he is a god. What is most important about Kanye is that no matter what he does and no matter how much people criticize his life choices, he remains proud and happy with who he is as a person.  We could all learn to accept our mistakes, claim them as our own and love ourselves because of our flaws, rather than in spite of them.  I’m thankful to every person who was willing to admit to me this week: Keep doing you, and keep telling me about it. Bonus picture from a brave… Read more »

Texts From Last Night: Homecoming Edition

Well, it’s happened. The big fall weekend has come and gone, the fire has been touched, the miles have been run. And the late night texts have been sent. We’ve found some of your best texts amid the Homecoming frolicking and although the weekend is over, the texts will live on (even if you don’t remember them).

The perils of Late Night Collis.

415: Drunk for Dumplings, no DBA
415: Hey that rhymed

When does the networking end? (Hint: it doesn’t)

617: I’ll actually try to wingman though the fact that I shadowed his father for a day and am connected with him on linkedin might be hard to suppress
617: Just subtly punch me in the face if I seem like I’m about to bring it up 

The real meaning of anarchy.

603: cocoa butter kisses
781: anarchy

Precaution taken to the next level.

603: Walked my bike because I didn’t want a DUI

DroCo is the only way to FoCo.

443: wait nvm. you probably don’t want dinner with drunk me
443: unless you do

The futile apologies of late-night munchies.

252: I ate so much of ur bread last night I’m sorry


17 Hours at Dartmouth College

Portsmouth, England. Oct. 17, 1714, 8:00 p.m. My time machine is finally complete! Now I must travel 300 years into the future to discover a cure for the smallpox that has been plaguing the village. I need to do so quickly — this thunderstorm is growing bigger as we speak. I have the date and location programmed into the machine. I will write again from the future. A grassy field, Portsmouth, England. Oct. 17, 2014, 8:00 p.m. It worked! I barely made it away though; a tree branch came flying through the window and hit the controllers right before I left, but it didn’t seem to have affected anything. Portsmouth has changed quite a bit in 300 years, however. I am now standing on the edge of a grassy field, and a large wooden structure with the number 18 on its top is in the center of the field. People walk around me, some alone, some in small groups. Many are wearing green shirts with the number 18 on the front. While they all speak English, they do so with a strange accent I have never heard before. But no matter, I’ll just turn off the time machine and then go find the cure. A grassy field,… Read more »

Dartmouth Admissions: Part Three


This is the third week of Dartmouth Admissions and I have effectively run through my list of people who owe me favors. So I’ve become that crazy person standing outside the admissions building yelling at people innocently trying to get lunch at Collis to “COME ADMIT SOMETHING TO ME.” Let me tell you, sounding like a crazy person is exhausting.

From what I can tell from heckling, the Dartmouth community is either comprised of: a. immensely self-confident people who truly are too proud of everything they have done to “not be able to remember anything embarrassing,” or b. a bunch of liars. I guess there is the ever-possible c. people who don’t enjoy telling their deepest secrets to strangers. That being said, while writing this article, I have met some incredible people who were unafraid to admit to hysterical things.

This weekend was Homecoming, a time filled with alums, students pretending to care about football, pong (real pong, not that root nonsense in the Mindy Project this week) and of course running laps around a giant fire. So I hope you went out, had fun, got a little crazy; you can always admit to me later this week.

All photos by Grace Miller, The Dartmouth… Read more »

FoCo Joe: Homecoming French Fry Bonfire

Happy Homecoming everyone!  What better way to celebrate this wonderful weekend than with an exciting French Fry Bonfire straight from FoCo? This week’s dessert is French fries topped with “the fire” – no, it is not spicy, nor is it the predictable ketchup-mustard combo. This is a dessert fire, if you will—a sweet and creamy concoction of vanilla soft serve, orange soda and (since it is fall) a touch of pumpkin ice cream.  This week’s dessert, unlike last week’s Apple Burger, is incredibly easy to replicate. Step 1: Grab a handful of fries, around 20 or so, from the grill station. If you want to make a giant bonfire, by all means go for it; this dessert is intended to serve one to two people (also unlike most of my other dessert creations — woohoo!). Step 2: Stack fries “log cabin” style — two parallel French fries to start the first layer, then another pair of French fries on top as another “story.”  The second pair is perpendicular to the first “story.” Use longer French fries at the bottom of the bonfire, and shorter ones toward the top. Step 3: Mix vanilla soft serve (or ice cream — it’s just a preference thing… Read more »