COSC professor: “I could never have gotten into Dartmouth as a student, but I can be a professor.”

ARTH professor: “Look at the sculpture of this turkey. To me, this captures the very essence of turkeyness.”

’19: “It can’t actually get that much colder, can it?”

’16: “I’ve been drunk since Thanksgiving.”

’19: “I like floors 2 and 4, but I don’t fuck with floor 3.”

Music professor: “There are few things more depressing than finding a book you wrote on Amazon for one cent.”